Since last week, I have been giving much thought about the meaning of ones life, what we are to accomplish while we are here and the legacy we leave behind. I think there are lot of reasons why this has become important to me as of recent but those reasons aren’t as important as the thoughts that has arisen because of them.

I am not a good business woman. To clarify… I love what I do, I take pride in my small little business, and I care about those whom I touch through my business. Yet, I am not a good business woman. I care less about the income and profit than I should. I am terrible at marketing myself as it feels unnatural and a bit self-serving. I care more about the people that work for me than I do their productivity. I am happiest when I have had new faces enter the shop and strike up new friendships or shared in an event that was made more special in a small way through my food. Those are the nights I go to bed most content and at peace.

So, as I think about my legacy, that which I will leave behind, I know it won’t be a fat bank account or a surplus of “stuff”. It won’t be newspaper articles or awards. There will be no accolades for my business savvy. Rather, I will most likely be remembered for the simple things, the moments when no one was looking. At least, that is my hope. That is what I would love for my legacy to be in the business sense.

At home, I hope it to be not much different. I hope my legacy will be a collection of the simple things. It is not an easy task to stay focused on that. We live in a world now that emphasizes many things that aren’t simplistic and pure and makes one feel they are the basics- the new basics. The temptation to compete and alter our paths is great.

I will continue to give thought and prayer to what legacy I wish to leave behind. What will people say…”she was a good cook but never made it big because of too much time at home” Perhaps. She was a force in the culinary business but had no life outside of that” I hope not. What will be said of you? Where will your greatest legacy lie? Will it be at work, with your friendships, with your family? It bears some thought.

I know my kids are loved. There are many stray dogs and cats that would say they remember me. I make a great tomato soup which has comforted many a tired and hungry soul. I still have friends from kindergarten years.  It is a start to knowing my legacy.

Each person has their own and the choice is ours-today is a great day to start.

I heard an interesting saying when I was expecting my first child…”When you have a child, you forever see and feel your heart walking around outside of your body”. At first I thought- odd. Then, after having three children, going through sleepless nights when you could not comfort them enough, sending them on that school bus for the first time, witnessing them struggle with justice, heartbreak and fears and eventually….letting go as they walk out the door for college. It now makes sense. They are my heart- they complete my own self, are a part of me and forever take me with them as they journey through their own lives.

This past year, I have been a freshman at University of Georgia, traveled to Oxford and Italy and will soon be going to Colorado State. I haven’t truly been to all those places or going there- just a part of me- my heart. There is a big enormous part of my heart still here and will be walking around the high school, getting ready for another journey and doing what it has done for twenty years now- following along with my children and sharing in their joys, their trials and the beautiful people they have become.

You would think that all the pieces of a heart, strewn all over the world, would not be as strong individually or that eventually the supply would dry up. Never. It seems miraculous but is true- it actually grows stronger and seems to multiply. The more places my heart is walking, it is still attached, feeding me with all that I need- love and contentment.

This weekend, my second child, Ellie, graduated from high school. My heart was there, walking across the stage, grabbing that diploma. As we shared the day on Saturday with friends and family, my heart was with her- greeting those who came to wish her well on her next journey and feeling the excitement of heading off to college. I also felt the nervousness about the departure from a comfort of home and the anxiety of all the newness awaiting and also felt the bittersweet goodbyes to friends of many years.

So, as a mother, it seems my heart is destined to walk around on the outside of my body- here and there, embracing life through my three precious children. I am amazed at the heart. Amazed that it is so resilient and strong. It can break and be mended, it can divide and multiply and it can love to such enormous and deep proportions. I have no worry about exhausting my heart- it has good care takers. They give me a work-out to be sure but that which they give back and add to my heart…immeasurable.

We are a good team.

Happy Graduation to all the seniors! And Moms- I will see all of your hearts out there- you are in good company!

On Tuesday, May 25th, To The Last Drop will re-open. Thank you for your patience while we were away and we look forward to seeing you back in the shop for our usual cuisine to go from our house to yours as well as our Saturday Morning Breakfasts!! England was wonderful and although it is always so exciting to travel and explore, it is also a blessing to come home and have a soft place to fall.

My recent travels took me to England- both London and just north to Oxford and the Cotswold region. It was a wonderful combination of very different terrain, history and culture. London was an exciting and vibrant city with such culture (wonderful theatre and museums) history (Buckinham Palace, Tower of London, Westminster Abbey) and the amazing blend of old and new. It is a civil, clean and polite city filled with an interesting blend of calm in peoples manner and bustle of a city such as New York. I was determined to bust the myth of English food being bland and boring and did just that.

Each meal we shared in London was wonderful, filled with new finds and tastes, and served with politeness and flair. I did dedicate a day to traditional English fare and had some fish and chips, mash (smashed fresh peas with mint) and a Pimms cocktail. While all were nice to try- I am not a fan of fried food much anynore so the fish and chips were not kind to my stomach. however, it was a fun meal to do and the Pub in which we ate, unique.

The fresh fish prepared all different ways, the jersey royal potatoes, traditional English breakfasts and wonderful service will remain favorites of mine.

We stayed at two lovely hotels which were each unique and special. In London, we atyed at The Goring Hotel in the Westminster area which was lovely and had impeccable service and accomodations. The bar was a perfect place to end the day and settle into a nice evening. In the Cotswold, we atyed at Lords of The Manor in Uppper Slaughter. This hotel was steeped in history and tradition. Within the hotel there was an amazing small dining room with a chef beyond belief. Each time we ate there we were one of ten tables treated to a gastronomical feast with tastings at every turn and menu choices which highlighted the local produce and meats as well as adding a level of international and culinary genius.It was difficult to go elsewhere for dinner although we did have other good recommendations in other villages that were also good, just not outstanding.

Oxford was a special treat to see the history but most importantly, to see Todd, my son. He is at Oxford for a six week session as a part of his scholarship and we met him on the campus for an afternoon and early dinner and then spent the next full day with him in a park outside the city of Oxford. Of course, seeing him was the highlight of my trip and being able to see him there, in that environment, unforgettable.

He is off to Sardinia for a  side trip and I am off in my mind to another place to travel already. The world is so big, so vast, and so filled with paths to discover. While it seemed far away at times while I was there, it was also home for those 9 days. People to meet, culture to experience, history to learn and wonderful meals to share. Simplicity in living- perfect.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

First, a reminder that To The Last Drop will be closed from May 10-May 24. We will re-open for regular business hours on May 25th, and will look forward to seeing all of you!

Today, being Mother’s Day, I wanted to share a few reflections about Motherhood. My life would not be filled with the many blessings that it is, had it not been for my Mom. She is a beautiful person in every possible way. Her heart is enormous, never ceasing to give unconditional love and compassion at every turn. I can truly say that she never allows anything to deter her from her path of being a good person, a woman of faith, and an example for me of what I strive to be every day. Her smile lights up a room and every path it crosses and her laugh fills my heart with such indescribable joy. To live my life with her vision and her love for life itself is my prayer every night- I honor her every day and today wish her a happy day miles away.

I also honor my children today for in my lifetime, I have never known a greater joy than being their mother. If it were not for them, I would never have known the sweetness of their arms around me, their smiles which cause my heart to skip a beat, and the immense feeling of having my heart exposed all day every day since the moment they took their first breath. They are my breath, the life in my heart and the nourishment to my soul. They are my precious children who have through the years become my friends and young adults that I am homored with whom to share my life.

On a final note, we sad farewell to Maddie, our loving dog of fourteen years. She loved us and with even her last moments, there was no doubt she knew how very much we loved her. There is no emptyness here though- not in the home or not in our hearts. She is still there, in the chair she loved, hanging her head over the armrest to look at us with adoring eyes. Out in the yard where she would simply stand and take in all the beauty every morning before all the other dogs would awaken. She is next to my bed waiting for me to get up at 5 a.m., still lapping water out of the hallway toilet, and still laying on the rug in the kitchen as I cook day after day…just making sure she was close to me. She will always be here- with us- forever.

Love is what makes our hearts grow …the love of a mother, the love for our children, and the love we are able to give and receive from all God’s creatures. Today, mine is growing by the minute.

I had the joy of hosting a prom Dinner at my home this weekend. My oldest daughter celebrated her senior prom with 22 friends by having dinner and pictures here beforehand. They were joined by all of their parents and together we had a wonderful evening.

The rain could not subdue or dampen the high spirits and beautiful attire. The kids all arrived in their prom gowns and tuxes- full of nerves as well as excitement and behind them were their parents equally excited but also full of sentimental emotion. It isn’t hard to remember our own proms and that evening we all shared the same mixed emotions of loving them all so much and knowing that soon we will have to let them go a little bit more than we have ever had to before.

As the rain fell, we snapped pictures indoors of couples, best friends, beautiful smiles and a group of young adults sharing in a memory making night. Together the parents all prepared and served dinner, poured drinks and waited on them as if they were our most VIP customers. As they finished dinner and readied themselves to leave for the Prom cameras were again turned on and ready to snap another round of pictures. Seeing all of them walk down the driveway with umbrellas, some running in heels that would break my neck and others that were lucky, being carried by their gentlemanly dates, I wished silently that we could do it all again.

Having a house full of kids, their parents and sharing together in a special meal is about as close to heaven as it gets for me. There were many thanks from the kids as well as parents for us hosting the event and cooking the meal. But I will say, I was the most thankful that evening. I am thankful for the blessings that are the simplest ones. Children that have the opportunity to grow up and experience life, good friends and that have parents that love them. Parents that can share in an evening joined together simply by that love for their children and the blessing that our chidren actually want to be with us! And the sharing of food amongst old and new friends, stories that bind us and a pang in our hearts that is shared.

It was a perfect night- and for a time or two, it felt like 1978 all over again.

I have a hat. It has been with me for many many years and if you know me….you know exactly what I am talking about. I have worn it so much that I truly wore it out. It had become so tattered that my kids were embarassed to be seen with me it, people did not recognize me without it, and the more I wore it, the more I was certain it would just fall apart one day. So, like those baby blankies we all store away before they dissolve into just a memory and the old precious photos we preserve in archival paper….I retired my hat.

A good friend looked high and low to find a duplicate hat and was successful after much effort. My hat is from the Metropolitan Museum of Art and was purchased long long ago. The replacement came and it was indeed the same hat- just not exactly. It didn’t fit my head as the old one did- making my ears stick out like Yoda. It was like wearing someone else’s shoes. In addition to the fit, it was emotionally a bad fit. I know- crazy. I had come to depend on that hat and come to truthfully be inseperable from it on certain days. It had for years helped me out with simple issues such as a bad hair day and also stood by me when it was my shield from the world during a very difficult time. I could put on my hat and all seemed well and manageable. Replacing it seemed harsh, not right, and I had a difficult time placing it on the hook in my closet.

However, necessity was the final winner- the hat was falling apart and if I wanted to preserve it and all its memories, I needed to retire it to the hook. For months I struggled with the new hat and tried hard to like it and accept it. The ear thing really was the least of it- it just felt like a stranger. Then , little by little, it began to win me over. I stopped putting on my old hat when I was home, stopped noticing that it was any different, and the comments of “get a new hat?? Finally!!” ended. It WAS my hat- not just my new hat.

My old hat is hanging right where I see it every day. I know it sounds silly, but I like seeing it- kind of a reminder of where I have been and how I have arrived at my current life. The other day I took it from the hook. I looked at it for a long time….it felt so fragile in my hand. I carefully placed it on my head for old times sake. Unbelievable- it did not fit. It was still my hat and still evoked those memories but it was different. It would never be the same and I had moved on. I wore it for an hour or so and finally hung it up again. Placing my current hat on my head, I went out the door to start my day. All morning I was thinking about how much the hats were like other things in our lives.

We depend on the comforts of our lives for security, inner peace, and joy. Those comforts, if truly rooted, will always hold the memories and the deep feeling….but they change. Our new comforts may take some time to blend into our lives but they do, if we are patient and open to the new. Eventually, they become a part of us as well. Kids leaving for college, parents aging, moving from your home, new jobs, new lives.I thought about how important it is to be willing to allow new paths to open and have the courage to walk them. Where we have been will never be the same but it will remain. And with it, we gain the strength to move on, dare to dream, and be confident in ourselves.

I wonder what hat will come next, if any. Guess I will just have to allow the road to wind whatever way it winds.

I have now learned that having strept throat as an adult is no piece of cake…in fact, it was absolutely miserable! I am now through that ordeal of last week and back on track, ready to cook and wanted to share some of the exciting upcoming events for you.

Saturday Breakfasts:

Our breakfasts will continue and I hope you will join us on Saturdays from 8 a.m.-11 a.m. for hot and deliciois breakfast to go. Each week we have freshly baked croissants, scones and muffins. In addition we have quiches sold whole or by the slice and our housemade granola. There is always one featured breakfast entree and this week it will be Baked french toast with Orange Marmalade syrup and our own sausage loaf. You are welcome to dine in if there is room at the table or on the front porch, or take home ready to eat for your family or house full of guests. we will continue this all summer long!

Kitchens of Zionsville Tour:

This Saturday, April 17, To The Last Drop will be on theullivan Monce Cultural Center Tour for “Kitchens of Zionsville”. Tickets may be purchased at the shop or through the Sullivan Mince Cultural Center. You can visit six kitchens in Zionsville and see what creative and beautiful ideas others have had for this special room in the house. We will be serving tastings throughout the day beginning at noon and ending at 4. Come by and see us!

Opening Day at Lions Park:

This Saturday is also opening day for the season at Lions Park. I have sponsored a team again and am so excited about being part of “The Glory”- a group of great girls who love the game!!! If you are also planning on spending a lot of time at the park, please remember that we are just up the hill and will have soups, salads and cuisine to go. You can grab some breakfast for the early games, pick up some lunch to eat at the park or stop by for dinner to go after a long day of games and carpooling! We will have what you need to fill all the tummies n your house!

Class Lists:

Our new class lists for summer June through December will be available at the shop and online May 1st! Lots of fun classes for the summer including classes for teens, a Farmers Market class on Saturday morning and the usual favorites- Thai, Sushi and Soups! Hope you will take a look, choose one, and join us for the fun and relaxing joy of cooking together.

Mothers Day/Graduations/Weddings/Showers:

We have menus and catering services for all your festivities- just call for an appointment to schedule catering. Our menus are full of wonderful and creative dishes and there is always room for your suggestions and special requests. We prefer to book at least one month in advance and weekends are getting full so please plan ahead and allow us to share in  your special event.

Open House:

We will have our annual Spring Open House on Saturday, June 12th at the shop. Please join us from 11-5 for tastings,drawings for classes, private dinners and retail items. It is a nice place to stop for awhile, see what we are offering in our summer menus and for classes and have a tasting of many of our new as well as favorite items. Hope to see you- bring a friend and join us for the day!

Closings:

Please remember that the shop will be closed from May 10-May 21 as I will be traveling to London and the Cotswold area of London. You are most welcome to call and schedule events as well as sign-up fpr classes. we will be checking email regularly as well and business will go on as ususal for those areas. The shop itself will be closed for the cuisine to go so do plan ahead and order what you will need for the weeks and we can have it ready to go and ready to freeze if you wish.

I hope you all enjoy this beautiful week ahead! I plan to do so now that I am back on my feet and able to breathe in the spring!! I hope you will stop by, see what is in the coolers, catch a game at the park on opening Day, take the Kitchen Tour or simply open the door to say hello- it is always great to see you-

Claudia

I will confess, I am not a sports fan and I have a very limited knowledge of most sports. As a result of my lack of knowledge, I have always had very little interest in sports in general. The one season I do enjoy has always been March basketball and all the excitement of the Sweet Sixteen, Final Four and the expected and unexpected pairings and winners.

This year I was able to attend the season games of Butler. Sitting in the same seat each time and being with someone that actually took the time to engage me in the game and explain not only the calls but share a bit about each player made all the difference. I was hooked. Hinkle Fieldhouse is an amazing place. I had been there for basketball camps with my son over many summers years ago. I thought it was a unique and special place then as it epitomized what I always thought Indiana Basketball was all about. I grew up in Chicago and it just isn’t the same there. Oh I know that people in Illinois love basketball but it just isn’t the same- truly it isn’t. Hinkle Fieldhouse during a home game, in an undefeated season, near the end of the season, is unlike any other sporting experience I have ever seen. Sounds silly, but I felt that I was among family members- all cheering on our own kids.

I loved watching my son play hockey for years. I cheered (even at the 6 a.m. games in a freezing ice rink), I wore my colors and held up handmade signs as we played for the win. Not since those days have I ever had the feeling that I got at Hinkle that would propel me from my seat to clap and cheer like I was at a hockey game of long ago. Not since this team at Butler, have had the inclination to sit alone and watch a game on t.v. and cheer and jump up and down (scaring poor Duke and embarrasing Maddie and the cats), and scream with joy at a win like they had over Murray State.

I was proud of myself- I do have it in me to be a sports fan. I do now understand what others might be feeling as they watch their favorite teams.

I won’t plan on this being a new leaf completely though. It is not all sports that will convert me this way.It is all because of the “Butler Way”. As I said before, I am hooked. I am smitten with the team of young men who cherish their education as much as they do their sport. Smitten with a coach and adults that partner with him to nurture the players as young athletes as well as young men- fine young men as well. It is undeniable when you watch them on the court and on the sidelines. Undeniable when you read about them and hear the respect and perspective that they share for the game as well as for one another. I am smitten with the crowd of fans- the warmth and loyalty is evident each time I enter the Fieldhouse and all the way back to our car.

Brad Stevens is to be commended and admired and as a mother, I would consider it a blessing to have him serve as a role model and coach for my child. He has exhibited the skills of his profession as well as the humanity and discipline it takes to be a role model for our youth. The players have won over my heart. The amount of team cohesiveness and their ability to all be a part of the team without vanity, narcissism and ego running rampant is admirable. Not a common display by most teams at this level let alone in professional sports. They are fine players and are fine young men.

So, onward we go to Thursday and another test of abilities and character. I know that no matter the result on the scoreboard, they will be winners in my heart. Thank you Butler Bulldogs for restoring my faith in competitive sports. Thank you for sharing with me a wonderful season and bringing me to my feet again. Thank you, Gary, for the seat next to you- I love it for many reasons.

Thursday night, I will be ready to cheer. I will mean it and feel it- down to every goosebump on my arms!!

Go Dawgs!!

I am amazed by the order of nature. I have the blessing of living amongst many living creatures and one of my favorite things to do is watch them all interact. Outside my house there is an order on land and in the air. The birds that frequent our feeders have a definite pecking order. The smaller ones are gather together and descend at once for a feeding frenzy. That lasts along with a cardinal or two and a robin and its mate until the blue jays or blackbirds arrive- then all birds disperse. The blue jays are only distracted when a hawk or owl return to the trees. Our outside cat, Midnight, sits and watches. She never attempts to catch or even bother the birds- she knows they are welcome and belong here. She does not, however, have the same respect for the poor field mice that happen to cross her path. They are often gifts left for me when I open the door- ugh!

Midnight begrudgingly shares her morning food with the raccoon that has taken up residence. He saunters up to the porch every morning when it is still a bit dark and together they have breakfast together. For many years we had a raccoon that we called “Old Gray” that would arrive each morning for food and share with our many outside cats. He would also take an occassional nap in the warm sun. Now “Old Gray” has passed as have all but one of the cats. Midnight has held on and is now joined with a new bandit eyed friend who we  have yet to name.

Our dogs- all six of them- have an order as well. Although tempting, I try not to mess with it to much. Not thrilled about being considered “one of the pack”, I am clearly the alpha dog. When I am not in the mix, the alpha is Hope. Maddie, our precious old girl was the alpha until she aged and became ill. She spends most of her day in the house with Duke, our chihuahua, and two cats. The dogs outside have an order as to who gets out the barn door first, who eats first and who is allowed to walk next to me when I am in the yard working.I love to just blend in and become invisible to see what each one does when they think I am not looking- it really is fascinating.

Charley, our newest dog, is a Blue Healer. His nature is to herd things- all things- and he does so with intent and tenacity. He first started out in the house as he had bi-lateral hip surgery and was recuperating. He tried to herd Maddie- she would not budge. Next was Duke and there were times we would find Duke in a corner afraid to move from where Charley had placed him! The cats would have nothing to do with his herding and soon learned what we all know- cats do as they please. Outside went Charley and his next targets were Hope, Lucy, and Fudge. No one seems to listen to Charley outside either and he becomes very cranky and frustrated- often how I feel with three teenagers!

The order of nature is so evident around this house. It really is comforting as it just continues and carries on even as pets pass on and are born. Soon Maddie will not be with us and as is tradition, we always allow another one of the oldest to come in the house. That will alter the order for certain and soon an entirely new one will appear. And on it goes.

I wish the order in other areas of my life were so predictable!!

My son is in New York right now for part of his spring break and I must say, I am jealous. Happy, as a Mom, that he is having a great experience….but wishing I were there with him. It doesn’t seem possible that I moved there, not much older than my son is now, and took on the Big Apple. As he walked around and explored the city this weekend, he sent texts and at each place I was able to immediately recall memories and pass along stories. Although he was born there, he has no recall at all of those few years he lived there as a child. However, now he will have some of his own memories and I am hoping, a taste of a different pace and life. Seems funny in a nice way that he is there, walking the same streets and riding the same buses and subways that he did as an infant- I don’t know, I just love when life brings us back around to things, people and places we think we have left forever.

Picking up and moving to NYC after I graduated from college was a huge step for me. After the excitement of jobs falling into place and what seemed to be a force pulling me in that direction, I was scared. Very scared. I never went to summer camps, never ventured too far from home and even the college I chose, DePauw, was a small and very safe cocoon. I hung up the phone one summer night in 1978 and told my Mom I was moving to New York. She was very excited but my Dad took some convincing;a lot of convincing.The fact that my first years salary as teacher combined with the position I took at the Metropolitan Museum of Art was less than the yearly rent I was to pay, could have been the source of some worry. But they let me go. They sent me on my way with the basic tools I needed, whatever furniture was in the storage room that older siblings hadn’t confiscated ( took a fold away cot for my bed, my dresser from 3rd grade that stil had bunny stickers on it, two chairs that were in my parents first apartment and exactly two knives, two forks and a few plates)and a security that I could come home anytime. Believe me, that thought crossed my mind more than few times those first two weeks! But they let me go…I know, I know, it is now that full circle I mentioned earlier.

I “let go” and my son is now in college, traveling the world, and beginning his life. My daughter is awaiting news this week of her own college experience and where that will be. I see ahead a few months and again, I will “let go”. Lots of mixed feelings to be sure. In another two years, I will have come full circle and my last child will be off to college. I will have entered another segment of my life where life itself brings you back around. My youngest wants to go to NYC for college….if that remains true, my journey of returning will truly be complete. Letting go and coming back. The one thing about change is you can always depend on it that it will happen.

I still wish I was looking at the Egyptian Wing with him, having a cannoli in Little Italy and walking through Central Park. But it is his time, his life…and I will love every single text I receive!!!!