Yesterday I took two of my three children back to the airport to return to college-begrudgingly so. The pick-up was so much more fun and was a happy memory I will keep forvever. We brought one of our dogs, Duke, to pick up Ellie and Todd. He is the only one who has good enough manners to bring and is also only a few pounds as opposed to 100! So, we waited for both flights to land and Duke performed beautifully- wiggled, whimpered with joy and kissed them both until their faces were soaked. My son, upon seeing his sisters running to him, picked them both up and gave enormous bear hugs…a wonderful gift for me! (You know Moms)

It was a Thanksgiving break of witnessing memories being made, reliving memories and being left yesterday with a full heart rather than a sadness. I drove home alone from the airport thinking about all the laughter and warmth over the holiday. The homecoming the night they arrived, that first morning when all were still asleep and I loved the need to be quiet as I brewed coffee and fed the pets. The scatter of many many shoes by the front door, the sounds of friends voices in the basement, in the kitchen by the fire and all through the house. The kitchen refrigerator emptied daily and a dishwasher on 24 hour duty. The chatter in the back of the car on the way to a football game, karaoke in the car, and the sharing of breakfast, lunches and dinners. Fires, happy and loved pets, movies, cards and more movies.

I then began to think of all the memories I have from my childhood and early years. The memories of my own homecomings. It was then that my cell rang and it was one of my brothers. He is in Florida visiting my Mom and had been to see my Dad that day. My Dad was moved to an Alzheimers Memory Center this fall and my Mom (at the advice of the Doctors and Staff) had not seen him yet to assure it would not cause him more anxiety and ease his transition. My Mom had been very unsure about what to expect- would he know her, would he be sad, would he be angry…many variables and causes for her concern. Two of my brothers went with her and had their own butterflies and anxiety. It was a beautiful moment for all of them. My Dad did know all of them for a short time before he grew tired and confused. He kissed my Mom, held her hand, spoke sweetly of family. I was in my car listening, but I was there, feeling the moment and welling with emotion.  His memories are few to be sure but that day, for that moment- he had them in his heart. My Mom will add this to her many memories she still has clearly in her head. I think of the complete variances between she and my Dad now. She has an incredible memory and knows well how special and fragile they are now after sharing my dad’s descent into Alzheimers. She holds the dear and holds them tight. My Dad, while he doesn’t retrieve them like her, still has them. When they return briefly and for fleeting moments, they are sweet and precious as well. How blessed they each are to have a life behind them that provided them with those memories. It is overwhelming to me the depth of memories they must have, the life they each had apart and together and the stored dates, faces and events.

Days are fleeting and for most of us, very full. It is what we fill those days with that will become our memories. Whether I am like my Mom at 90 and remember every detail or like my Dad who is only able to treasure them at flashes of moments, I know that I hope they include the people I love in my life. My children, my family and my friends. I don’t want to remember errands, cleaning, hours on the laptop or the other tedious tasks that fill many days. I want to remember the card game that Todd and I won, the laughter on my bed with all the pets, the shared meals, talks by the fire and embraces that will keep me warm all winter long. I want to remember and I need to remember…it is important, it is what counts. This holiday season, I plan to live in the life that I have…all of it, and I plan to do so with those I love most.

It has been a few months since I have blogged on- lots going on, many demands on time, and my writing that usually flows freely has been a bit stagnant. It is very unlike me to just write for the sake of writing. That which I write is a part of me, an extension of myself and thoughts….so I am a person that is careful what I write.

So, I find I am now ready to write again. I am in the busy season at work, kids are all coming home from college tomorrow, and I have a million things to do at this particular moment; however, I felt the need to write. Funny how we can be moved to do something that is not practical at times (I tend to do that anyway!) when our emotions call to us.

Well, part of this desire to write is based upon the fact that my little business is growing- a lot lately. I have such a joy seeing some of the signs I have been told for which I should patiently wait. I have a wonderful and loyal group of customers, a steady and dependable staff, and that which I want more than anything is happening…I am adding to the lives of others through the kitchen and cooking! It gives me that deep down contentment when I see that the one small thing I do each day, does make some kind of difference. Perhaps not life changing, and perhaps not newsworthy….but a difference. So I reflect back a year at this time and my yearning to share my love of cooking and shared meals with family and friends with others. My yearning remains but it is now being fed and stregthened by those “others”- people who have come and chosen foor for dinner and their families, those who attend the classes and share some fun and laughter in our kitchen, people who “come over for dinner” at our dining room during the Private Dinners and those who have allowed me to share in their celebrations of all types through the catering.

Amazing how things have changed and that in a years time, my roots at the shop have deepened and I look forward more every day to opening that front door and putting out the “Open” sign. I thank you for the richness you have added to my life at work- I am thankful.

In a years time, my personal life has changed a bit too. My second child left for college, my ever young and vibrant Mom suffered a heart attack and My Dad was moved to an Alzheimers Memory facility and diagnmosed with lung cancer simutaneously. I have felt at times like I am in the middle of two mountain ranges- still rasing children and also caring for my parents. Those mountains have felt at times to be unsurmountable. However, we have climed them and navigated them all very well- together.

Yesterday I was purchasing some Thanksgiving cards for family and friends when the dam broke. Those who know me well, know I am referring to my ability to cry easily and be emotional at a snap. I was looking through the family cards and when I read a few “Dad” and “Father” cards, the dam broke. I realized that a year ago I was buying a card for “Parents” and now I would not be doing so. I fell apart. The fact that my Dad is still with us but that he doesn’t know us is not a concept I have fully gotten my arms around. I wanted to send a card- but why? should I? would it be read? Many many thoughts and emotions all swirling around me at Hallmark. A year ago we were all together for the holidays, my children,my siblings and all their children, my parents.

This year, we will all be in different places, my children will be eating with their Dad and my own Dad will not know with whom he is sharing his dinner. A year can bring many changes.

I guess what I wanted to blog about today was that in the midst of changes and mountains, we still all have so many many blessings in our lives and things for which to be most THANKFUL. I am truly that- I am thankful each day but will reflect especially upon it this Thanksgiving. I hope you will share your day with those you love, and if you are alone on this Thanksgiving, reflect upon the joys in your own life and be thankful for yourself.

Warm wishes and I will look forward to sharing in all the holiday events with you!

Yesterday (Sunday) I scheduled a meeting with my small (but wonderful and loyal) staff at 4 p.m. We met at the shop, talked about some new and exciting things we are launching as well as the upcoming holiday seasons and routines with the running of the business. Everyone was there.

Not until the end of the meeting did I hear that the Colts were playing as we met. Of course, that was news to me. I am admittedly not a fan of football. I will watch it and I am not miserable or anything that extreme…but I am not much of a fan. For the most part, I simply do not understand all the rules, the game strategies and truthfully…the point. Most of the time, people close to me know this and have come to accept me for this fault (their perspective, not mine). However, the most amazing fact is not that I was unaware that the Colts were on tv but rather this-

Not one of my employees said a thing about it, whined, complained or did not show. Not until the end of the meeting, when they all practically ran from the table, did someone say..”Only Claudia would schedule a meeting during a Colts game” (it was actually said in jest and in a somewhat endearing way). But I am so amazed- nothing was said ahead of time. That, is loyalty.

I drove home yesterday feeling great. Energized about my business and the many new things we will be doing (you will hear soon!) Very respectful and grateful for the small but wonderful staff that I have. Those thoughts flowed into a much bigger picture… I am a very fortunate person. I am fortunate beyond measure for things you cannot measure- for more than a nice home, a nice car, belongings. I am fortunate for the many people in my life that I care about and care back. I have amazing children, parents and siblings. I have long lasting friendships that date back to kindergarten and newer ones that have more than made up for lost time. I have a zoo of animals that if you love animals like I do, you will understand that they are also a part of your life. And today I realized that I have another blessing- my staff. Looking at them around the table, I saw people that care, that are good, and obviously see me for what I am- football illiteracy included. I am fortunate beyond measure.

So, entering this fall with an excitement for new directions at the shop, new directions in my life and an army of my own- I am ready. I hope you will come in the shop and meet this staff of mine. No, there won’t be any sports on the little tv in the kitchen, there will be “I Love Lucy” playing or some compilation of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong and we will be cooking, to be sure! They are a tolerant group- and I love them!

**Check out the website in the next few weeks for many updates and changes at the shop. We are also sending out our newsletter….it is back and will be filled with many great bits and pieces for you. If interested and not already on file, go to the website and sign up for the email newsletter!

Sitting with my porch door open and a nice fire going, I am hopeful that Fall is truly here. One of my very favorite things to do is build a fire in our hearth room, have both porch doors open, somthing cooking on the stove and baking in the oven and an old movie or I Love Lucy on the tv. To complete the picture, there are usually a few kids and pets strewn around the kitchen as well! Emmie is the lone child home now and some of the pets have passed on- yet the kitchen still seems just as full, just as cozy and today- full of Fall!

Sunday morning, we were joined by 10 of Emmas friends for breakfast. There was a sleepover after the Homecoming Dance and as is customary here…a huge breakfast in the a.m. Seeing them all come upstairs with their sweats and sweatshirts, hair all over the place and “we’re starving” pleas makes me happy. It just simply makes me over the top happy. Duke, our in house dog, our two cats and our newest addition (a little kitten that was rescued from the side of the road) were all milling about. The crisp fall air was coming in through the porch doors and the fire was going. For me, there is not a better memory for me as a Mom than this ritual repeated for many years now. Looking ahead, I hope it will continue for many more- with grandchildren and I am certain given our track record….many more pets.

So, on a cooking note- Fall presents to us and almost beckons to us, to create the comfort foods that we all love. Comfort foods at times have gotten a bad reputation as unhealthy or fattening. Well, that can certainly be the case with the choices that are made. However, I choose a balance- as my mother would say….everything in moderation. I use real butter, real heavy cream and real 1/2 and 1/2- in moderation. Great local and organic meats and vegetables as much as I am able, nothing frozen, nothing canned, and fresh herbs and seasonings as well. To me, that is healthy. While it is not always possible to be able to trace back where your ingredients have originated…it is to me, essential that the main components are fresh and pure.

Dietary or religious restrictions aside, I really believe in the balance of eating that which is provided to us. There are great choices to make whatever your preferences are and you can create those comfort foods that Fall and the upcoming winter months call for and still balance your cravings and needs.

To The Last Drop will be sending out a monthly newsletter beginning this November which will highlight recipes, shopping tips, events and upcoming things at the shop and a travel review at times (when I actually have time to travel!) If you would like to be on the list- email the shop or go to the site and add your name to the list!

In the meantime, enjoy the Fall and all its wonderful uniqueness- create those memories with the meals you provide and share with yourself, your loved ones and your friends. I see Lucy, one of our dogs, waiting at the porch door with the anticipation of coming in to lay by the fire and with any good fortune, grab a tidbit of the concoction on the stove. She knows the joys of comfort foods too!

I had a hat. Actually, I still have it- I will never ever part with it completely. It is no longer worn on my head but rather it hangs on a hook in my closet- almost in shrine-like placement. I had it from too many years ago to mention. It bore the logo of the Metropolitan Museum of Art where I worked my first year out of college. It went through and survived all the rites of passge of a worthy hat…

*the twisting, squeezing and curving of the brim so that it has the right “bow”

*traveled to many countries, cities and never ever was late arriving in my suitcase

*was willing to be “on duty” at 5 a.m. in the morning and not etire until way past midnight

*withstood the jaws of the washer and the heat of the dryer-never losing sight of the role it played

*never left my side during the most emotional, challenging, heartbreaking and defeating moments of my life

*never left my side during the most inspiring, heartwarming and inspirational moments of my life

It was a part of me- truly.

My hat became such a part of me that I would actually have people do double takes when they saw me without it. There was especially a time that I did not go out with out. It was a very challenging and sad time in my life and my hat was my shield. It allowed my puffy eytes to be hidden, my eye contact to be missed and allowed me the distance and space I needed to heal. It was my protection from the world at that time.

A year or so after that period of time, it became evident that my hat was tired. It was still ready when needed, never complaining, but tired. Then, after one final wash, it was never the same. The reality of us parting was staring me in the face.

A friend of mine tracked down a replacement hat. It was indeed the same hat (and after no small feat, it was located thanks to the tenacious search  by my friend). The hat arrived and I did my best to make the switch. My hat willingly took its place on the hook but the new hat, it had some large shoes to fill. It did not feel right. It sat too high on my head, it made my ears stick out like something from Star Wars and it made me sad- I missed the comfort and reassurance of my old hat.

However, little by little and days to weeks to months- the new hat was there. As you can guess- it became a part of me as well. Not in the same way but a part of me.

One day about 6 months ago, I was in my closet and glanced up at my old hat- THE HAT. I was compelled to take it from the hook , toss my new hat on the floor and place it on my head. What followed was odd and a bit unsettling-it no longer fit. I fiddled with it, placed my hair behind my ears, rearranged it….it was not working. It was not the same hat I thought. What has happened!? It was placed back on the hook, I (with new regard) picked up my new hat and placed it on my head. I was sad, almost as though I had lost a part of me- a part of my life as I had known it.

Yet, I did have a revelation that day- a lesson of life for me, personally. I saw that the hat that shielded me and hid me from what were mountains to climb- was no longer needed. I had moved on, I had grown, I had healed. I could not, nor would not go backwards- just onward. The hat, and me, had changed. I had found where I “fit” in life- and my old self of that time of my life (old hat) no longer fit.

It will remain on the hook in my closet- a reminder of where I had been and where I am going. I am quite certain that it will find its way onto my head- at least several times. It will be ok- it will. But just in case, I will have my new hat- a nice hat that fits- let’s leave it at that!

Be brave, try new things, expand yourself and trust that you are able to arrive at the top of those mountains- sometimes you just need a bit of security and something to count on.

**To the Last Drop will be closed during the weeks of August 16-29. The first week I will be taking my daughter to college and the second week will be spent starting some new and exciting paths with the business and organizing and planning. I will be taking all calls as well as checking email for catering needs and classes. The class on August 26th will continue on schedule- no changes.

This past week, my son was home after spending the summer in North Carolina doing research. It has been great having him home and in one more day, he will be off to his sophmore year at UGA. Seems our time together is fleeting and I am trying to get used to fact that I now have to share my children as they all spread their wings and leave.

I will think of Todd and rememeber this week every day, probably several times of day, for many reasons. One of which is that he made two gifts for me while he was home. He created a compost pile for me in our woods and also created a rain barrel which he atteched to our gutter so I can conserve some water. These are things that are very important to Todd and as gifts, they mean the world to me. His passion for the environment and the world we live in is extraordinary and unwavering- I love being around him as it is so enlightening and hopeful.

He is changing the way I think about my every day actions- lights on, doors open when the air is on, composting, water conservation….I like thses new ways of thinking and the new choices….but I will be honest, it is a very conscious effort. Like many many others like me, I truly do not think about many of my actions every day. I do now, however. I am thankful for Todd- he will make a difference in the world and any small contribution by me or anyone matters.

So, I am 50 and learning some new habits. This summer has been a flurry of change for me, a flurry of endings and beginnings. I am still in tact (for the most part- a little heartbroken and a little dazed at some of the changes) but here and ready for the next paths.

This all will bring some changes to the business and I will be excited to share those with you. Change is good and especially when it is a change which betters our lives and thoe lives of others. So- on to the next….

Since last week, I have been giving much thought about the meaning of ones life, what we are to accomplish while we are here and the legacy we leave behind. I think there are lot of reasons why this has become important to me as of recent but those reasons aren’t as important as the thoughts that has arisen because of them.

I am not a good business woman. To clarify… I love what I do, I take pride in my small little business, and I care about those whom I touch through my business. Yet, I am not a good business woman. I care less about the income and profit than I should. I am terrible at marketing myself as it feels unnatural and a bit self-serving. I care more about the people that work for me than I do their productivity. I am happiest when I have had new faces enter the shop and strike up new friendships or shared in an event that was made more special in a small way through my food. Those are the nights I go to bed most content and at peace.

So, as I think about my legacy, that which I will leave behind, I know it won’t be a fat bank account or a surplus of “stuff”. It won’t be newspaper articles or awards. There will be no accolades for my business savvy. Rather, I will most likely be remembered for the simple things, the moments when no one was looking. At least, that is my hope. That is what I would love for my legacy to be in the business sense.

At home, I hope it to be not much different. I hope my legacy will be a collection of the simple things. It is not an easy task to stay focused on that. We live in a world now that emphasizes many things that aren’t simplistic and pure and makes one feel they are the basics- the new basics. The temptation to compete and alter our paths is great.

I will continue to give thought and prayer to what legacy I wish to leave behind. What will people say…”she was a good cook but never made it big because of too much time at home” Perhaps. She was a force in the culinary business but had no life outside of that” I hope not. What will be said of you? Where will your greatest legacy lie? Will it be at work, with your friendships, with your family? It bears some thought.

I know my kids are loved. There are many stray dogs and cats that would say they remember me. I make a great tomato soup which has comforted many a tired and hungry soul. I still have friends from kindergarten years.  It is a start to knowing my legacy.

Each person has their own and the choice is ours-today is a great day to start.

I heard an interesting saying when I was expecting my first child…”When you have a child, you forever see and feel your heart walking around outside of your body”. At first I thought- odd. Then, after having three children, going through sleepless nights when you could not comfort them enough, sending them on that school bus for the first time, witnessing them struggle with justice, heartbreak and fears and eventually….letting go as they walk out the door for college. It now makes sense. They are my heart- they complete my own self, are a part of me and forever take me with them as they journey through their own lives.

This past year, I have been a freshman at University of Georgia, traveled to Oxford and Italy and will soon be going to Colorado State. I haven’t truly been to all those places or going there- just a part of me- my heart. There is a big enormous part of my heart still here and will be walking around the high school, getting ready for another journey and doing what it has done for twenty years now- following along with my children and sharing in their joys, their trials and the beautiful people they have become.

You would think that all the pieces of a heart, strewn all over the world, would not be as strong individually or that eventually the supply would dry up. Never. It seems miraculous but is true- it actually grows stronger and seems to multiply. The more places my heart is walking, it is still attached, feeding me with all that I need- love and contentment.

This weekend, my second child, Ellie, graduated from high school. My heart was there, walking across the stage, grabbing that diploma. As we shared the day on Saturday with friends and family, my heart was with her- greeting those who came to wish her well on her next journey and feeling the excitement of heading off to college. I also felt the nervousness about the departure from a comfort of home and the anxiety of all the newness awaiting and also felt the bittersweet goodbyes to friends of many years.

So, as a mother, it seems my heart is destined to walk around on the outside of my body- here and there, embracing life through my three precious children. I am amazed at the heart. Amazed that it is so resilient and strong. It can break and be mended, it can divide and multiply and it can love to such enormous and deep proportions. I have no worry about exhausting my heart- it has good care takers. They give me a work-out to be sure but that which they give back and add to my heart…immeasurable.

We are a good team.

Happy Graduation to all the seniors! And Moms- I will see all of your hearts out there- you are in good company!

On Tuesday, May 25th, To The Last Drop will re-open. Thank you for your patience while we were away and we look forward to seeing you back in the shop for our usual cuisine to go from our house to yours as well as our Saturday Morning Breakfasts!! England was wonderful and although it is always so exciting to travel and explore, it is also a blessing to come home and have a soft place to fall.

My recent travels took me to England- both London and just north to Oxford and the Cotswold region. It was a wonderful combination of very different terrain, history and culture. London was an exciting and vibrant city with such culture (wonderful theatre and museums) history (Buckinham Palace, Tower of London, Westminster Abbey) and the amazing blend of old and new. It is a civil, clean and polite city filled with an interesting blend of calm in peoples manner and bustle of a city such as New York. I was determined to bust the myth of English food being bland and boring and did just that.

Each meal we shared in London was wonderful, filled with new finds and tastes, and served with politeness and flair. I did dedicate a day to traditional English fare and had some fish and chips, mash (smashed fresh peas with mint) and a Pimms cocktail. While all were nice to try- I am not a fan of fried food much anynore so the fish and chips were not kind to my stomach. however, it was a fun meal to do and the Pub in which we ate, unique.

The fresh fish prepared all different ways, the jersey royal potatoes, traditional English breakfasts and wonderful service will remain favorites of mine.

We stayed at two lovely hotels which were each unique and special. In London, we atyed at The Goring Hotel in the Westminster area which was lovely and had impeccable service and accomodations. The bar was a perfect place to end the day and settle into a nice evening. In the Cotswold, we atyed at Lords of The Manor in Uppper Slaughter. This hotel was steeped in history and tradition. Within the hotel there was an amazing small dining room with a chef beyond belief. Each time we ate there we were one of ten tables treated to a gastronomical feast with tastings at every turn and menu choices which highlighted the local produce and meats as well as adding a level of international and culinary genius.It was difficult to go elsewhere for dinner although we did have other good recommendations in other villages that were also good, just not outstanding.

Oxford was a special treat to see the history but most importantly, to see Todd, my son. He is at Oxford for a six week session as a part of his scholarship and we met him on the campus for an afternoon and early dinner and then spent the next full day with him in a park outside the city of Oxford. Of course, seeing him was the highlight of my trip and being able to see him there, in that environment, unforgettable.

He is off to Sardinia for a  side trip and I am off in my mind to another place to travel already. The world is so big, so vast, and so filled with paths to discover. While it seemed far away at times while I was there, it was also home for those 9 days. People to meet, culture to experience, history to learn and wonderful meals to share. Simplicity in living- perfect.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

First, a reminder that To The Last Drop will be closed from May 10-May 24. We will re-open for regular business hours on May 25th, and will look forward to seeing all of you!

Today, being Mother’s Day, I wanted to share a few reflections about Motherhood. My life would not be filled with the many blessings that it is, had it not been for my Mom. She is a beautiful person in every possible way. Her heart is enormous, never ceasing to give unconditional love and compassion at every turn. I can truly say that she never allows anything to deter her from her path of being a good person, a woman of faith, and an example for me of what I strive to be every day. Her smile lights up a room and every path it crosses and her laugh fills my heart with such indescribable joy. To live my life with her vision and her love for life itself is my prayer every night- I honor her every day and today wish her a happy day miles away.

I also honor my children today for in my lifetime, I have never known a greater joy than being their mother. If it were not for them, I would never have known the sweetness of their arms around me, their smiles which cause my heart to skip a beat, and the immense feeling of having my heart exposed all day every day since the moment they took their first breath. They are my breath, the life in my heart and the nourishment to my soul. They are my precious children who have through the years become my friends and young adults that I am homored with whom to share my life.

On a final note, we sad farewell to Maddie, our loving dog of fourteen years. She loved us and with even her last moments, there was no doubt she knew how very much we loved her. There is no emptyness here though- not in the home or not in our hearts. She is still there, in the chair she loved, hanging her head over the armrest to look at us with adoring eyes. Out in the yard where she would simply stand and take in all the beauty every morning before all the other dogs would awaken. She is next to my bed waiting for me to get up at 5 a.m., still lapping water out of the hallway toilet, and still laying on the rug in the kitchen as I cook day after day…just making sure she was close to me. She will always be here- with us- forever.

Love is what makes our hearts grow …the love of a mother, the love for our children, and the love we are able to give and receive from all God’s creatures. Today, mine is growing by the minute.