I heard an interesting saying when I was expecting my first child…”When you have a child, you forever see and feel your heart walking around outside of your body”. At first I thought- odd. Then, after having three children, going through sleepless nights when you could not comfort them enough, sending them on that school bus for the first time, witnessing them struggle with justice, heartbreak and fears and eventually….letting go as they walk out the door for college. It now makes sense. They are my heart- they complete my own self, are a part of me and forever take me with them as they journey through their own lives.
This past year, I have been a freshman at University of Georgia, traveled to Oxford and Italy and will soon be going to Colorado State. I haven’t truly been to all those places or going there- just a part of me- my heart. There is a big enormous part of my heart still here and will be walking around the high school, getting ready for another journey and doing what it has done for twenty years now- following along with my children and sharing in their joys, their trials and the beautiful people they have become.
You would think that all the pieces of a heart, strewn all over the world, would not be as strong individually or that eventually the supply would dry up. Never. It seems miraculous but is true- it actually grows stronger and seems to multiply. The more places my heart is walking, it is still attached, feeding me with all that I need- love and contentment.
This weekend, my second child, Ellie, graduated from high school. My heart was there, walking across the stage, grabbing that diploma. As we shared the day on Saturday with friends and family, my heart was with her- greeting those who came to wish her well on her next journey and feeling the excitement of heading off to college. I also felt the nervousness about the departure from a comfort of home and the anxiety of all the newness awaiting and also felt the bittersweet goodbyes to friends of many years.
So, as a mother, it seems my heart is destined to walk around on the outside of my body- here and there, embracing life through my three precious children. I am amazed at the heart. Amazed that it is so resilient and strong. It can break and be mended, it can divide and multiply and it can love to such enormous and deep proportions. I have no worry about exhausting my heart- it has good care takers. They give me a work-out to be sure but that which they give back and add to my heart…immeasurable.
We are a good team.
Happy Graduation to all the seniors! And Moms- I will see all of your hearts out there- you are in good company!
